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Feminine Strength
"Femininity is definitely strength under control."
-Michelle McKinney Hammond
In His Image
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created
him; male and female he created them. God saw all that he had made, and it was
very good."
-Genesis 1:27,3
Femininity: A Biblical Perspective
by Carolyn Mahaney
When Nicole, my oldest daughter, got married, she chose a unique theme for her wedding: her favorite Shakespeare play, Much Ado About Nothing. It proved to be a wonderful theme, but at least one aspect of the 16th-century script — the timeless verbal sparring between sharp-tongued Beatrice and her reluctant love interest, Benedick — ought not to be emulated, in this era or any other:
Beatrice: I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick: nobody marks you.
Benedick: What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living?Beatrice: Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come into her presence.
Shakespeare's keen observation of the War of the Sexes is as fresh today as when he wrote it. Sadly, the acerbic Beatrice, or Lady Disdain, remains celebrated in our culture. She contends with the men in her life, and waxes deeply disrespectful.
While I'm glad Nicole enjoys Shakespeare, I'm far more pleased with her biblical, decidedly non-Beatrice-like view of womanhood. Without God's Word as anchor, modern women drift to extremes. Secular feminist Susan Brownmiller evidences the confusion in her book, Femininity: "Women are all female impersonators to some degree." More alarming is her definition of femininity: "Femininity, in essence, is a romantic sentiment, a nostalgic tradition of imposed limitations."
The Bible gives women far greater honor, hope, and freedom. We need not impersonate anyone, nor suffer limitations. The God who created femininity has a beautiful purpose and plan for women.
Created Feminine
In Genesis, we see the inauguration of femininity at the dawn of creation. Woman was the beautiful handiwork of God our Creator (1:27, 2:22). She was God's idea, the finishing design of all creation, his last act.
The Bible gives women far greater honor, hope, and freedom. We need not impersonate anyone, nor suffer limitations. The God who created femininity has a beautiful purpose and plan for women.
Created Feminine
In Genesis, we see the inauguration of femininity at the dawn of creation. Woman was the beautiful handiwork of God our Creator (1:27, 2:22). She was God's idea, the finishing design of all creation, his last act.
Our gender is not accidental. We were intentionally and purposefully created in the planned and foreordained determination of an all-wise God. We ought not consult our feelings to discover our purpose, look to our culture to find our feminine identity, or gaze in the mirror to locate our true beauty. Everything we are and do must be rooted in God.
Modern feminist doctrine teaches that femininity is a matter of cultural conditioning. Many feminists argue that the only essential differences between men and women are anatomical. Genesis teaches otherwise. Our femininity, in all its manifestations, is a gift of grace from a loving Creator.
Called to Be a Helper
In the Garden, God made man and woman fellow stewards of creation, but with different roles, divinely assigned. The Lord said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" (Gen 2:18). God created Eve from Adam, indicating that she was created to help him in the task God had given him. Paul summarizes the creation plan: "For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man" (1Corinthians 11:8-9).
Although femininity looks different depending on one's marital status, all women are called to display their femininity in a variety of relationships. Although we must not allow men to lead us into sin or away from God's priorities, we should be inclined to affirm the leadership and initiative of the men around us.
In all our relationships, we should make room for godly men to practice servant-leadership. I encourage single women to ask the Lord for creative ways to inspire men to lead. Granted, this is not always easy; not every man will lead automatically. What matters is that you are cultivating the habit of making room for the leadership of the men in your life.
Meanwhile, wives, we all have the same job description: Our husbands' helpers. When wondering whether to pursue some particular endeavor, ask yourself: Does this help my husband? Usually, that one simple question will make your decision clear.
Made to Nurture
During a plane trip, I once spoke with a woman who was addressing envelopes. She was sending out wedding invitations for one daughter and graduation invitations for the other. I was about to congratulate her when she admitted, "It's so nice to be getting rid of both of them at the same time."
Modern feminist doctrine teaches that femininity is a matter of cultural conditioning. Many feminists argue that the only essential differences between men and women are anatomical. Genesis teaches otherwise. Our femininity, in all its manifestations, is a gift of grace from a loving Creator.
Called to Be a Helper
In the Garden, God made man and woman fellow stewards of creation, but with different roles, divinely assigned. The Lord said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" (Gen 2:18). God created Eve from Adam, indicating that she was created to help him in the task God had given him. Paul summarizes the creation plan: "For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man" (1Corinthians 11:8-9).
Although femininity looks different depending on one's marital status, all women are called to display their femininity in a variety of relationships. Although we must not allow men to lead us into sin or away from God's priorities, we should be inclined to affirm the leadership and initiative of the men around us.
In all our relationships, we should make room for godly men to practice servant-leadership. I encourage single women to ask the Lord for creative ways to inspire men to lead. Granted, this is not always easy; not every man will lead automatically. What matters is that you are cultivating the habit of making room for the leadership of the men in your life.
Meanwhile, wives, we all have the same job description: Our husbands' helpers. When wondering whether to pursue some particular endeavor, ask yourself: Does this help my husband? Usually, that one simple question will make your decision clear.
Made to Nurture
During a plane trip, I once spoke with a woman who was addressing envelopes. She was sending out wedding invitations for one daughter and graduation invitations for the other. I was about to congratulate her when she admitted, "It's so nice to be getting rid of both of them at the same time."
I cringed, thankful her daughters weren't there to hear her. Although this woman's attitude is common in our culture, it should not characterize Christian women. God intends that we enjoy motherhood and delight in our children.
As women, we are created to be life-bearers. Our bodies have been designed with the ability to mother — to conceive, carry, and bear young. In fact, our bodies prepare themselves repeatedly to conceive and bear children. One way we express our femininity is to embrace gratefully every stage of childbearing, receiving and nurturing each child as a gracious gift from God.
In no way does this exclude childless women, whether single or married. Elisabeth Elliot reminds us that such a woman may mother many children.
She can have children! She may be a spiritual mother, as was Amy Carmichael, who, by the very offering of her singleness, transformed [the lives of] far more children than a natural mother may produce. All is received and made holy by the One to whom it is offered.
(Please note, however, that one need not be a missionary, as was Amy Carmichael, in order to be a "spiritual mother"!)
We delight God when we find joy in motherhood. But motherhood is a huge responsibility, an enormous task. As one author wrote, "It can be back-breaking, heart-wrenching and anxiety-producing — and that's just the morning!" It's easy to grow weary and to focus on all the sacrifices being made, rather than the joys that motherhood can bring. What about those times when we find mothering a burden ... when we lack joy or feel overwhelmed by the endless demands?
During those moments of weakness, we should ask our Creator for an eternal perspective, which will give us the strength to pursue our calling with vigor. As we petition him, he delights in giving us the strength to carry out our responsibilities in the joy of the Lord.
Charged with Caring for the Home
The woman of virtue portrayed in Proverbs 31 is commended for watching over the affairs of her household. In Titus 2:3-5, Paul instructs the older women to teach younger women how to be busy at home. These and other Scriptures make it clear that while it is the man's responsibility to be the provider for the home, it is the woman's responsibility to be its caretaker. Domesticity — devotion to the quality of home life — is an essential facet of femininity.
As women, we are created to be life-bearers. Our bodies have been designed with the ability to mother — to conceive, carry, and bear young. In fact, our bodies prepare themselves repeatedly to conceive and bear children. One way we express our femininity is to embrace gratefully every stage of childbearing, receiving and nurturing each child as a gracious gift from God.
In no way does this exclude childless women, whether single or married. Elisabeth Elliot reminds us that such a woman may mother many children.
She can have children! She may be a spiritual mother, as was Amy Carmichael, who, by the very offering of her singleness, transformed [the lives of] far more children than a natural mother may produce. All is received and made holy by the One to whom it is offered.
(Please note, however, that one need not be a missionary, as was Amy Carmichael, in order to be a "spiritual mother"!)
We delight God when we find joy in motherhood. But motherhood is a huge responsibility, an enormous task. As one author wrote, "It can be back-breaking, heart-wrenching and anxiety-producing — and that's just the morning!" It's easy to grow weary and to focus on all the sacrifices being made, rather than the joys that motherhood can bring. What about those times when we find mothering a burden ... when we lack joy or feel overwhelmed by the endless demands?
During those moments of weakness, we should ask our Creator for an eternal perspective, which will give us the strength to pursue our calling with vigor. As we petition him, he delights in giving us the strength to carry out our responsibilities in the joy of the Lord.
Charged with Caring for the Home
The woman of virtue portrayed in Proverbs 31 is commended for watching over the affairs of her household. In Titus 2:3-5, Paul instructs the older women to teach younger women how to be busy at home. These and other Scriptures make it clear that while it is the man's responsibility to be the provider for the home, it is the woman's responsibility to be its caretaker. Domesticity — devotion to the quality of home life — is an essential facet of femininity.
Single women, may I advise you not to wait until marriage to cultivate this? I have talked to many married women who admitted they didn't value domesticity before they were married. Then, after the wedding, they didn't like being at home or caring for their home.
They didn't value homemaking as a worthy profession because they had not developed a vision for the importance of home life while they were single. They filled their single years with every possible pursuit but a devotion to the home. Certainly, the single years do provide opportunity for many God-honoring pursuits outside the home, but these ought to be balanced with cultivating a love for the home.
The Witness of Femininity
As women, we were created purposefully by God, to live purposefully by his Word, for the purpose of glorifying him. Although the world, and even much classic literature, would memorialize the tongue and attitude of Shakespeare's Lady Disdain, Christian women can be different by the power of the Holy Spirit. We do not have to be "female impersonators" who view femininity as a "nostalgic tradition of imposed limitations." Contrary to popular opinion, femininity is not much ado about nothing!
They didn't value homemaking as a worthy profession because they had not developed a vision for the importance of home life while they were single. They filled their single years with every possible pursuit but a devotion to the home. Certainly, the single years do provide opportunity for many God-honoring pursuits outside the home, but these ought to be balanced with cultivating a love for the home.
The Witness of Femininity
As women, we were created purposefully by God, to live purposefully by his Word, for the purpose of glorifying him. Although the world, and even much classic literature, would memorialize the tongue and attitude of Shakespeare's Lady Disdain, Christian women can be different by the power of the Holy Spirit. We do not have to be "female impersonators" who view femininity as a "nostalgic tradition of imposed limitations." Contrary to popular opinion, femininity is not much ado about nothing!
In the awe-inspiring generosity of the Lord, we have been created with a unique task. If we cultivate and express our femininity with this in view, our Maker will commend us for the wise stewardship of this precious gift.
Reprinted with permission of Sovereign Grace Ministries, 7505 Muncaster Mill Road, Gaithersburg, MD 20877, www.SovereignGraceMinistries.org.
About the Author: Carolyn Mahaney is the wife of C.J. Mahaney, who leads Sovereign Grace Ministries and serves as senior pastor of Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland. Carolyn leads the women's ministry at Covenant Life.
Photo by Joanna Margueritte.
Photo by Joanna Margueritte.