A Single Reflection
Column by Eileen Hershberger

Love and relationships have become a big part of American pop culture. The books, movies, TV shows, and advertising that we see and read each day all use these two topics to convince us that our world will be complete when we have a love of our own. And singles seem especially susceptible to these ideas of love and marriage being the ultimate answer to the pangs of life. We begin to think that if only I had that perfect man to love and who would love me, my life would be complete and I would no longer struggle with loneliness, emptiness and incompleteness. Life would be the way I have always imagined it to be. It would be perfect, just like in the movies.

We all long for it, to be loved and to know that we are special in the eyes of someone other than a family member. We have seen it happen to our friends, and we continue to hope that one of these days, it will be our turn. However, as the weeks fade into months and the months into years, we begin to think that we will never find the love of our life. We become a bit cynical; perhaps we even let a root of bitterness begin to grow in our hearts. We mentally shrug our shoulders and tell ourselves that it is best this way. We find our little rut in life and we hang out in its familiar and comfortable grooves, never venturing out of its confines.

Is it wrong to live our lives in this way? I really don’t know, I just know that I realized something in my own life a few months ago. The last year and a half has been a journey unlike any I ever expected to be a part of. You see, I had found my ‘rut’. I was content and thought I knew exactly what the rest of my life was going to be like. I had a stable job that I loved and had given 14 years of my life to. I had some incredible friends that I hung out with and I was an independent woman of the twenty-first century. I was doing what I knew that God had called me to do. But, somehow I missed something about God somewhere along the line. I forgot that God is the one in control and life is all about change and seasons. I forgot that God is the designer of love and I had forgotten that I AM LOVED.

For the first time in my life I realized how deeply and passionately God—the creator of the universe, the one who sacrificed his only Son—loved me!! HE LOVES ME!! ME!! Little ole me, who so struggles with being single sometimes. Me, who has never really seen herself as lovable. Me, the one who is always the listener and the fixer for other people’s problems and the one who often wondered what was wrong that no one wanted to love her. ME!! GOD LOVES ME!! I am his child, his daughter, his princess, and his bride. I WAS LOVED!! I was loved as perfectly and as completely as any woman could ever desire to be loved. I had exactly what I had always been looking for, right in front of me. Oh, I always knew that God loved me; after all, He is God, that is what he does. But never before had I realized how deep and personal his love is and let His love soak into the fabric of my life.

I discovered something when I realized how much God loves me. I discovered a freedom and a confidence to become the woman that God had created me to be. I no longer spend so much time and energy wondering what is wrong with me, but instead I find myself basking in the love and presence of Jesus. He is mine and I find myself growing as a person because of this love in my life. I am no longer bound by old insecurities. Oh, I still fight with them occasionally, but they no longer control me. There is an incredible freedom that comes when you are loved by someone and so it is when we get a glimpse of the eternal love of God. We are changed. All because we are loved.

Looking back at the last year and a half, I see how my path has been a journey to the heart of God and his love. I left my comfortable rut in pursuit of a dream and an idea for my future. God was drawing me towards him and towards a new understanding of how deeply I was loved. He was there every single step of the way, even when I doubted my decision and wondered why I ever thought that this is the right direction for my life. He was there when the bills were coming and the money wasn’t. He was there in the loneliness. And He was the one who showed me how deep and real His love for me is. God had to get me out of my rut before I could really see him and know HIM. My journey is not complete yet but it has been incredible.

So my challenge to you is do you realize that you are loved? How passionately God desires to have a real relationship with you? Have you ever thought about how much God loves you and what it means to be loved by God? Do you live every day as a woman who is deeply loved and in love with one your heart longs for? Or do you wallow in your rut and wonder why and how you got there?

Jeremiah 31:3 tells us that we are loved with an everlasting love. Everlasting ... it will never fade, or disappoint or leave us empty and alone. It will always be there. It is for forever and it is ours and ours alone. Life can be what we have always imagined, when we grasp the love an incredible God who is always pursuing us, and always loving us!