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"Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it."
-Proverbs 16:22
Cross-Cultural Marriages
Are you thinking of marrying someone from another culture?
by Carol O'Hara
Marrying
someone from
another nation
can be exciting!
There are so
many things that
are new and
different,
interesting and
challenging.
These same
things can be a
source of
frustration and
conflict,
misunderstanding
and hurt. Before
you marry
someone from
another nation,
take a look at
this list.
Perhaps you will
see some things
here that you
have not
considered.
many things that
are new and
different,
interesting and
challenging.
These same
things can be a
source of
frustration and
conflict,
misunderstanding
and hurt. Before
you marry
someone from
another nation,
take a look at
this list.
Perhaps you will
see some things
here that you
have not
considered.
We are not
trying to
convince you
that marrying
someone from
another culture
is right or
wrong. That is
something you
will have to
determine for
yourself. But
the Word does
say that a wise
man calculates
the cost before
beginning
construction on
a house.
Hopefully this
will help you
consider the
cost of
cross-cultural
marriage.
Are you willing for your children to not really know your parents?
Marrying someone from another culture means that one of you will be living outside of your home nation permanently...which means that you will not be able to see your family very often. That means your children will see very little of one set of parents (their grandparents).
Are you willing for your family members to not be able communicate well with your children?
Not only will your children not have the opportunity to know one set of grandparents very well, if there is a language barrier, one set of parents will not be able to really communicate well with your children.
Are you willing to take the time to explain why something is funny to you?
Have you considered that you might get tired of having to explain jokes to one another? Are you ready to just accept the fact that you won't be able to share each other's humor? Marrying someone from another culture means that you will have a hard time understanding each other's humor. Things that are funny to one will not be funny to the other. You will have to explain the humor to one another. (Example: Jokes from TV shows, childhood games, comic strips.)
Are you willing for your children to not really know your parents?
Marrying someone from another culture means that one of you will be living outside of your home nation permanently...which means that you will not be able to see your family very often. That means your children will see very little of one set of parents (their grandparents).
Are you willing for your family members to not be able communicate well with your children?
Not only will your children not have the opportunity to know one set of grandparents very well, if there is a language barrier, one set of parents will not be able to really communicate well with your children.
Are you willing to take the time to explain why something is funny to you?
Have you considered that you might get tired of having to explain jokes to one another? Are you ready to just accept the fact that you won't be able to share each other's humor? Marrying someone from another culture means that you will have a hard time understanding each other's humor. Things that are funny to one will not be funny to the other. You will have to explain the humor to one another. (Example: Jokes from TV shows, childhood games, comic strips.)
Are you willing
to let go of
some of your
traditions and
celebrations?
Marrying someone from another culture means that one of you will not be experiencing your cultural traditions and/or national celebrations.
Are you willing for your children to grow up with a different set of family traditions than your own?
Marrying someone from another culture means that one of you must be willing to not give your children the cultural traditions and national heritage that you have.
Marrying someone from another culture means that one of you will not be experiencing your cultural traditions and/or national celebrations.
Are you willing for your children to grow up with a different set of family traditions than your own?
Marrying someone from another culture means that one of you must be willing to not give your children the cultural traditions and national heritage that you have.
Are you willing
to live in your
spouse's home
country
indefinitely?
You need to be aware that the day may come when you may need to move to your spouse's home country.
Are you willing to lose your place in society?
You may need to consider that the socioeconomic class one holds in one culture, may not cross over in another culture. For example, a well educated man from Latin America may not receive the same respect he enjoys if he lived in the United States or Australia.
Are you willing to face the possibility of being prejudiced against because of your spouse's nationality or color?
Have you considered how both of your cultures view cross cultural marriages? Light skinned people marrying dark skinned people may be perfectly OK in Venezuela, but frowned upon in S. Korea.
Are you willing for your children to grow up with gender role models you don't approve of?
Growing up in another culture means that the gender role models for your children may not be what you would consider to be good role models. (Example: Machismo in Latin America, outspokenness in American women.)
Have you considered how the "home court advantage" may effect your marriage relationship?
You may need to consider the effect of the "home court advantage" on your marriage. If a foreign man marries an American woman and they live in the United States, she would be cast in the leadership role in some aspects of their relationship. (She would better understand the language and protocol of the nation.) Whereas if they lived in his nation, he would be able to lead out more effectively in their marriage.
Article is courtesy of MissionsAndMarriages.org.
You need to be aware that the day may come when you may need to move to your spouse's home country.
Are you willing to lose your place in society?
You may need to consider that the socioeconomic class one holds in one culture, may not cross over in another culture. For example, a well educated man from Latin America may not receive the same respect he enjoys if he lived in the United States or Australia.
Are you willing to face the possibility of being prejudiced against because of your spouse's nationality or color?
Have you considered how both of your cultures view cross cultural marriages? Light skinned people marrying dark skinned people may be perfectly OK in Venezuela, but frowned upon in S. Korea.
Are you willing for your children to grow up with gender role models you don't approve of?
Growing up in another culture means that the gender role models for your children may not be what you would consider to be good role models. (Example: Machismo in Latin America, outspokenness in American women.)
Have you considered how the "home court advantage" may effect your marriage relationship?
You may need to consider the effect of the "home court advantage" on your marriage. If a foreign man marries an American woman and they live in the United States, she would be cast in the leadership role in some aspects of their relationship. (She would better understand the language and protocol of the nation.) Whereas if they lived in his nation, he would be able to lead out more effectively in their marriage.
Article is courtesy of MissionsAndMarriages.org.