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Believe in His Ability
to Lead
"Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is; treat a man as he
can and should be and he will become as he can and should be."
-Goethe
Compassionate Humility
"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be
sympathetic ... be compassionate and humble."
-1 Peter 3:8
A Husband's Spiritual Leadership
by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
Answers
Barbara:
One
thing
I
have
learned
through
the
years
as
Dennis
and
I
have
grown
in
our
marriage
is
that
this
may
not
be
in
place
when
you
first
get
married.
When
I
got
married,
it
never
occurred
to
me
that
Dennis
didn't
know
how
to
provide
spiritual
leadership
and
that
this
had
to
be
learned.
I
was
rather
impatient
in
our
early
years.
I
expected
regular
devotions
seven
days
a
week.
We
didn't
get
anywhere
close
to
that.
Part
of
it
was
our
kids.
We
had
babies
screaming.
What
I
got
was
real
sporadic
leadership.
It
worked
for
awhile
but
I
felt
like
he
was
doing
it
because
I
was
bugging
him
to
do
it.
Dennis:
I
think
a
wife
needs
to
understand
that
it
may
take
years
for
a
man
to
grow
spiritually
so
that
he
can
lead
his
wife
in
this
area.
I
would
guess
that
most
men
did
not
have
a
good
model
of
spiritual
leadership
in
their
homes
as
they
grew
up.
Barbara
and
I
have
prayed
regularly
as a
couple
for
our
entire
marriage.
But
it
has
only
been
in
the
last
few
years
that
we
have
had
morning
devotions
with
the
kids
before
they
headed
off
to
school.
In
the
past,
we
would
have
devotions,
but
with
a
young
family
and
an
incredible
diversity
of
age
span
and
needs,
it
was
sporadic.
And
it
was
a
challenge!
Barbara:
It's
important
to
realize
there
are
different
ways
to
give
spiritual
leadership
in
the
home.
My
big
mistake
early
on
was
thinking
that
spiritual
leadership
meant
you
have
devotions
each
day.
I
didn't
realize
that
a
man
can
give
spiritual
leadership
in
all
kinds
of
other
ways
just
by
the
interaction
he
has
with
his
children.
If
he
is
pointing
his
children
to
Christ,
and
to
the
Scripture,
then
he
is
giving
spiritual
leadership.
It
doesn't
have
to
just
be
in a
formal
Bible
study.
Be
grateful
for
what
you
get.
Pray
that
God
will
give
your
husband
a
heart
to
want
to
lead
the
family
spiritually.
Be
patient,
because
it
may
not
come
as
quickly
as
you
would
like.
Dennis:
As a
couple
it's
good
to
evaluate
your
expectations
and
your
personality
differences.
I
think
sometimes
there
are
certain
types
of
personalities
that
we
tend
to
think
of
as
being
a
biblically
approved
leadership
style.
There
is
really
only
biblically
approved
character,
not
biblically
approved
personality.
A
structured
wife
will
have,
more
than
likely,
married
a
man
who
is
less
structured
and
more
spontaneous.
With
that
comes
an
irregularity
of
schedule-never
doing
things
the
same
way
two
days
in a
row.
That
is
part
of
the
joy
of
life
for
that
person.
And
this
type
of
husband
will
also
have
a
more
difficult
time
disciplining
himself
to
provide
consistent
spiritual
leadership
for
his
family.
Ask
your
spouse
what
you
can
do
to
encourage
him
to
lead
spiritually.
That
may
mean
having
the
table
set
for
dinnertime
devotions
with
the
Bible
beside
his
placemat.
Or
it
may
mean
finding
some
material
to
help
him
plan
and
schedule
family
nights.
There
may
be
other
things
that
you
can
do
to
help
take
the
load
off
your
husband
so
that
he
is
able
to
do
the
most
basic
functions.
It
may
mean
going
to
bed
early
so
you
have
time
to
read
the
Bible
together.
Finally,
be
sure
to
affirm
your
husband
for
what
he
does
do
right.
Even
if
it
is
as
little
as
praying
over
meals,
thank
him
for
the
spiritual
leadership
that
he
does
initiate.
Article
taken
from
www.FamilyLife.com.
By
Dennis
and
Barbara
Rainey.
Copyright (c)
2005
by
FamilyLife.
All
rights
reserved. Used
by
permission.