Quiet Time
The Secret to a Happy Marriage

Many years ago my husband and I went through a rough patch. A betrayal on my part, and feelings of unforgiveness on his part, had left our marriage in need of restoration and healing. In addition to this, I felt my relationship with the Lord had dwindled to an ember of what it had once been. God seemed distant, my marriage seemed frayed, and I felt numb.

So, on a snowy New Years Day I knelt before the Lord and cried out for a fresh touch upon my hard heart, and a fresh touch upon my troubled marriage. He answered by leading me to purchase a personal calendar and journal—and then to commit to a daily time of devotion with Him each day.

Since I was not a new Christian at the time the concept of spending time with God each day and reading His word was not new to me. But the truth was I had become lax in the discipline of having a “quiet time” with God each day. And somewhere along the way spending time with Him had become an “obligation” instead of a delight.

I found the biggest hindrance to my new habit was fear of failure. I had committed to spending an hour each day in fellowship with God. I would begin by recording ahead of time how long my quiet time with the Lord would be on my calendar (as well as my other responsibilities and events of the day). Then I determined I would read the Bible for awhile followed by a time of prayer and writing in my journal.

I had to conquer my doubts that I could follow through on my resolution. The only way I knew to do this was by putting one foot in front of the other and going forward!

And as I continued on day by day in this new discipline, the Lord brought an increase of His presence, a greater joy in reading His word, and a sense of healing into my marriage. Sometimes I failed to keep my promise to seek Him—but instead of getting a defeatist attitude and quitting, I continued on in my endeavor. I soon realized that it was His delight to help me.

It was during this time in my life that I learned a close walk with Christ is the single most important component to a protected, committed, and joyful marriage. I found that as I spent time in His presence He lovingly brought healing and restoration into my life. And it was as I embraced my marriage as a healed and restored woman (or more accurately, one who was in the process of being healed and restored), I became easier to live with. As God’s transforming Word entered my heart and mind, I found it easer to trust His plan for my marriage. “Let go and let God” became so much more than a catch phrase; it became an actuality in my life. My “quiet time” with God became the secret to my happy marriage.

About the Author: Paula Friedrichsen is a conference speaker and the author of The Man You Always Wanted is The One You Already Have (Multnomah 2007). She lives with her husband and daughter in Northern California. www.PFMinistries.com. Paula is the author of Paula's Picks, a monthly book review column on PositivelyFeminine.org.