Get and Keep His Attention
Scriptural Meditations for Your Most Intimate Relationship

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Refreshing

You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon (Song of Songs 4:15).

Amazing how many times in Scripture women were found beside a well before they met their husbands. Could it be that God fashioned women to be sources of refreshment for men? I believe so. A hand extended promises to soothe a weary brow. Laughter, as magical as the sound of a brook, chases away the cares of the day. Eyes that shine with love and admiration reveal the depths of your heart and invite your husband to come closer to partake of all the refreshment you have to offer.

Your mystery is your greatest lure, causing a man to venture closer and look deeper still. Once he has committed his life to you in marriage, allow him to drink continually from your well, until he is satisfied and refreshed.

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Fruit, Nard, and Saffron

Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, with henna and nard, nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with every kind of incense tree, with myrrh and aloes and all the finest spices (Song of Songs 4:13-14).

What you manifest outwardly comes from within. Make sure your fruit is not common fare but rare, succulent offerings with endless possibilities of discovering a new delightful flavor. Pomegranates were known for being hard on the outside but filled with sweet fruit on the inside that could be eaten raw or made into spiced wine. Today’s society makes women feel they must muster a tough exterior. Perhaps in some cases that is true, but you must never allow your inner woman to harden. Preserve your softness and your sweetness so the right man may partake of all you have to offer.

Nard was an expensive oil that was used as a liquid or made into an ointment. It was most often stored and only used to anoint a special or honored guest. The man in your life should always feel special. Truly he can smell when he is being treated like everyone else and feel devalued. Never should a whiff of commonness pass between you. Keep him set apart in your heart.

Just as crocus blooms were gathered, dried, and pressed into cakes of saffron, your attentions must be gathered to focus on the one you desire to be special in your life. And just as saffron was used to color various dishes, your attitude will color the tone of your relationship with your significant other. Sprinkle attention and caring as liberally as saffron was spread, as perfume, on the floors for weddings in the days of old. Soft and inviting, so the scent of affection in the air is not overdone.

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Needs

Then the king said to her, “What is troubling you, Queen Esther? And what is your request? Even to half of the kingdom it will be given to you” (Esther 5:3 NASB).

If it is true a man needs to feel needed by you, then surely you must let him know your needs. This is scary, but necessary, in any relationship that moves forward. Remember, he’s not a mindreader. Don’t expect him to guess what you want. Your needs must be palpable to him. He needs to be able to sink his teeth into them, digest them, and be able to offer you a solution. Make him feel he is a part of you by sharing your needs with him. Allow him to answer them.

Pick your battles, ladies. Don’t overwhelm him by expecting too much too soon. Be gentle and present your needs in a way he can receive them. Make him feel as if you are asking for help. Submit your need to him. Do not make demands or unrealistic requirements that cause him to shut down emotionally or flee.

Stay watchful and listen to his conversation. Ask him what he needs from you. Learn of his needs and address them. A man’s heart is warmed when he feels you truly care about the things on his heart.

Be quick to acknowledge when he has met your needs—it will encourage him to look for other ways to please you. When a man knows he is meeting your needs, it makes him feel empowered. And a woman who makes a man feel powerful is a woman he will want to be around.