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Seek His Guidance
If you have been wounded by "friends" in the
past, and feel that it is safer to keep an aloof distance,
ask God to give you a healthy, balanced perspective of
friendships. Ask for wisdom in finding trustworthy friends
with whom you can discreetly share your heart.
Truthful Conversation
by Brenda King
Do
you
frequently
tell
friends
what you
think
they
want to
hear,
instead
of
respectfully
sharing
your own
thoughts
and
opinions?
Do you
act like
someone
that
you're
not, in
an
effort
to fit
in? Such
behavior
is
usually
based on
what the
Bible
refers
to as
the
"fear of
man,"
rather
than on
a
healthy
respect
for
others.Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.
-Proverbs 29:25
Meaningful
friendship
is based
on a
willingness
to be
open and
respectfully
honest.
In his
book
Quick to
Listen,
Slow to
Speak,
Robert
E.
Fisher
says
that
there
can be
no true
unity in
a family
unless
each
member
"is
willing
to
reveal
himself
- his
feelings,
likes,
dislikes
-
truthfully
to other
members.
As long
as
individual
members
hide
themselves
from one
another
through
...
behavioral
facades,
or
untruthful
conversation,
there
will be
no
unity"
(emphasis
added).1
The same
is true
of
friendship.
Unless
your
friends
are
permitted
to
genuinely
get to
know
you, you
will
have
many
acquaintances
but few
authentic
friends.
It is
not
necessary
or
appropriate
to share
every
secret,
or to
speak
everything
that
comes to
mind;
but it
is
essential
to
selectively
allow
others
the
honor of
peeking
into
your
heart in
order to
see the
real
you. You
have
been
granted
a
unique,
beautiful
personality,
and a
plethora
of
wonderful
traits
that can
be a
blessing
to this
world if
you
allow
others
the
honor of
experiencing
them.
Others
may not
always
agree
with
your
thoughts
and
opinions,
but what
you
think
and feel
will
still
have
value.
Differing
views,
when
expressed
with
respect
and
kindness,
make
life
interesting.
The next
time you
are
tempted
to tell
others
only
what you
think
they
want to
hear, or
to
otherwise
hide
your
true
self,
remember
the
following
verses:
God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
-2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
-Ephesians 4:15
Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.
-1 Peter 3:10 (emphasis added)
About the Author:
Brenda
King is the director of
PositivelyFeminine.org. She and
her husband Mike live in Ohio
and have one son. In her
spare time she enjoys reading,
writing, hiking, and working on
the computer.
1Robert
E.
Fisher,
Quick to
Listen,
Slow to
Speak
(Cleveland,
TN:
Tyndale
House,
1987).
Photo of
girl on
phone is
courtesy
of
Anita B.
Patterson.