Many of you are probably satisfied with your positions, but everyone experiences frustrations even in the best of jobs. Do you sometimes feel that you could do your job (or life, for that matter) much more easily if it weren’t for the people either around you, or those you serve, or both? You may not want to admit it out loud, but deep down, I think all of us feel that way from time to time. So, what do you do when you are attacked by the “frustration with people” syndrome? Here are some things to remember:

We cannot control other people, but we can influence them. Nowhere are we told “Thou shalt control.” We are, however, told in Romans 12:8 that we are to make an effort to live at peace. Are you setting an example through the kind and courteous way you treat others? Would those around you confess that you are a source of irritation to them? We often don’t see—or want to see—our own faults. However, we all influence others in either a positive or negative way. Make sure you are a positive influence.

We are only as annoyed or offended as we allow ourselves to be. Someone may disagree with you or criticize you—and it may sting at first—but you do not have to hold onto that feeling. I once saw someone on Candid Camera say, “I just don’t let people get into my head.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 teaches us to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” We have a choice about where our thoughts take us and the subsequent feelings they produce.

Criticism may contain an important nugget of truth. When you receive a complaint or criticism, ask the Lord, “What do You want me to learn from this?” He can use the situation, even if it was presented unkindly or unfairly, to help you grow. Be teachable, and prayerfully take note of what may be important but discard what He shows you is not.

A sincere and simple “thank you” is a great way to disarm criticism. If someone offers a critical statement, simply say, “Thank you for sharing” or “Thank you, you’ve given me something to think about.” No need to elaborate further. Saying “Thank you” instead of acting defensively can soften the situation, without meaning that you agree with everything that was said.

Unpleasant people are often simply troubled or unhappy. Since you don’t know what people are going through, magnify grace. You’ve probably experienced a negative situation that made more sense when you learned the burden someone was carrying. While some people are not very sensitive to people’s feelings, many don’t intend to be mean-spirited.

Dealing with difficult, hypocritical or unpleasant people is an ongoing challenge. Maybe that’s why Jesus pointed out to “love our enemies.” I imagine that most of the people you deal with are not “enemies,” so how much more should we shower love on them? You are in a very influential position for your organization—set a tone of peace and love and see what the Lord does!

Copyright © 2008 by Beth Beutler. Reprinted by Permission. Share