While Chicken Little feared the sky was falling on his head, there are some children today where a falling sky is literally true. Recent flooding in the Midwest has torn houses from foundations. Tornadoes have ravaged many areas of the country. In the West, fires burn out of control, destroying homes and interrupting lives. The hurricane season is upon us once again and thousands of children will remember with fear the winds that howled, the rains that whipped, and the storms that not long ago devastated the South. How do we help our grandchildren cope with those kinds of disasters?

The American Academy of Pediatrics says that children depend on adults to help them talk about disasters and make sense of their feelings. That’s not always an easy thing for a parent caught in the midst of their own loss and sorting through the necessary steps for recovery. As grandparents, we can help to provide a loving, listening ear for our grands. “Answer only the questions children ask with simple, honest words,” says Brenda Nixon, author of The Birth to Five Book (Revell 2009) and speaker to parents. “Don't initiate a long discussion about the disaster as this may encourage more fear or preoccupation about it.”

An organization that is ever present during disaster recovery, the American Red Cross, lists four things that frighten children most after a disaster:

1. The event will happen again.
2. Someone will be injured or killed.
3. They will be separated from the family.
4. They will be left alone.

“Speak in calm, low tones,” Nixon encourages. “Children often take their emotional cues from trusted adults; they will be agitated or frightened if either grandparent displays these emotions.” 

Having children participate in the family’s recovery efforts will help them feel hope for a normal life again. Rather than just babysitting while Mom and Dad are working to clean up or find a place to live, offer to bring the children along for a few hours and let them help out in appropriate ways—even if it is just to make sandwiches for those working. Nixon also suggests that praying with your grandchildren for those who are recovering will help to teach them compassion for others.

It should go without saying: TURN OFF THE TV. As an adult, I have found myself overwhelmed by watching the 24/7 news coverage of disasters. The grands do not need to see it or hear it replayed, rerun, or reevaluated. Rent some happy children’s movies if you absolutely need to have the TV on. Pop some popcorn and make yourself available for them to snuggle next to you on the sofa.

That brings me to the next and probably most important advice. Hug them often. Am I telling this to a grandparent? Still, they are going to need that reassuring touch that a good grandparent-type hug brings. And while you’re at it, hug their Mommies and Daddies too.

Copyright © 2008 by Karen Robbins Share

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