Yearning rather than learning may be the actual reason our grandchildren are off to college this fall. They yearn to be independent. They yearn for those dream jobs to come. They yearn to meet that someone special. As with anything in life, expectations can exceed reality.

This year some of the younger friends we have are sending sons and daughters off to universities. Some have had the shock of their lives when a day or two later after leaving their student at the dorm, they get a call saying, “Come get me. I can’t do this.” What can we, as grandparents, do to help them succeed at school?

First, let them know you are available as well as their mom and dad especially if the student’s parents are both employed outside the home. It might be easier to call a grandparent during the day for a listening ear and a familiar voice. Listen, acknowledge the feelings and frustrations, assure them they are normal, and encourage by making some of the following suggestions:

• Reach out to other freshmen. There is strength in knowing you are not alone in how you feel. If there hasn’t been a mixer planned, invite the freshmen on your floor to meet for a “bring your own soda and chips” get together.
• There are lots of resources on campus starting with the resident advisor of the dorm who is probably an upperclassman or graduate student and remembers her freshman year. Most likely that’s why she took the job—to help others adjust.
• Give yourself time to adjust. Roommate problems and scheduling problems will eventually work themselves out. Changes can be made in time.
• Be sure to get enough rest. A good night’s sleep changes your perspective on many things.
• Find an organization on campus that interests you and attend a meeting. (I remember the year our oldest went off to school over 1200 miles away. The first thing he did was to join a Christian ministries group on campus. It led to friendships that have lasted for years.)

Next, there is a commercial that goes, “Nothin’ says lovin’ like something from the oven.” Bake and send some of those great chocolate chip cookies. Or put together a box of favorite rations for the midnight oil burners. (Include microwave popcorn. There’s something about the smell of popcorn that is satisfying.) A package from home delivers love and security in knowing that she hasn’t been forgotten.

Get to a discount greeting card store and stock up on some funny thinking-of-you cards. Put one in the mail each week for the first month or so. Or, if you love to write, send off a letter each week. Avoid the email route. While it is fast and convenient, it is so much more exciting to have something to hold in your hands that you know came from the hands of another.

Finally, don’t neglect letting your grandchild know that he/she is prayed for daily. There is strength in that simple act of remembrance

Copyright © 2008 by Karen Robbins Share

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