Do you babysit the grands? Are you a full time caregiver for them? Or are you like the grandmother I ran across in an article recently who says she feels no guilt in telling her daughter that she will not babysit or provide child care? It’s her time to do what she would like to do without the responsibility of caring for children. Sound harsh? Maybe not.

We each have our own ideas of life after children. While I relish being Grandma (more than I’d ever thought), I am enjoying the freedom of pursuing a writing/speaking career and traveling with my husband. I am fortunate to have children who are able to provide for their families without having their wives work. Everyone is not so blessed. Some grandparents need to make tough decisions about how they might help out in these financially difficult times while their children struggle to survive the economic crisis.

I love the story of the grandmother I wrote about in an earlier column who solved the dilemma by getting a job herself and giving the paycheck to her daughter-in-law who could then stay home with her children. Creative solution. She got to do something she liked and the grands had their mommy home with them during the day.

If you are faced with the prospect of providing childcare to help your children, consider some things carefully:

• How is your health? Will you have the energy to keep up?
• Consider setting ground rules like days of the week you will take care of the grands and the hours during those days. Day care centers would do the same thing.
• Will Mom and Dad bring what you need for the day? You should not have to supply diapers, formula, etc.
• If you can, only agree to a max of three days a week if they are very small children. You need time to rest. You don’t want to stretch your patience so thin that you don’t enjoy your grands.

My heart goes out to those grandparents who, for whatever reason, find themselves the primary caregivers for their grandchildren. It is a tough decision to make not only for the welfare of the grandchildren but their own as well.

So how do we judge the “no-guilt grandma”? Better she say no, than feel she must become caregiver and resent it and her family. We all have different hearts we need to follow.

Copyright © 2009 by Karen Robbins Share