Mommy Musings
Monthly Column by Anni Welborne

Cultivating stewardship and thanksgiving

Even though it’s now past Thanksgiving, have the children sort through their toys, those to keep, those to give away, those to pitch. Help the children remember how fun the toys were, good memories they had with them, who gave them the toys. With each group of toys, have the children pray to God, thanking Him for whomever gave the toy and for the fun they had with it. For the keep pile, help the child to pray that he/she would continue to be a good steward of the toys. For the give away pile, have the child pray for the new recipient of the toys. For the pitch pile, help the child determine why – were the toys broken because they simply wore out, were not quality toys, or did the child break a toy because of misuse? If prayer is needed for the last reason, help the child pray to become a better steward of what God has given. When the children have a pile of toys to give away, help the children choose a place to donate. It’s important that the children go with you to make the donations, so they can begin to care for other organizations. “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21) Doing this in November helps weed out the kids' toys, making room for more, but it also helps the kids focus on truly being thankful for things, rather than simply anticipating more, more, more.

Just whose birthday is this?

Human nature being what it is, we need to help ourselves and our children focus on giving to others before being concerned with their own wish list.

It's Jesus' birthday, not theirs. Contact a local charity for needs to sponsor. Let the children select gifts for the children listed. Picking out a few select gifts to give to Jesus, wrapping them, and having a birthday party for Jesus helps the children to focus on the real meaning of Christmas. Our church where we used to live did this - a big birthday party for Jesus. We sponsored 4 or 5 charities in town, got their wish lists in October, put the tree up in November, and had the party in early December to kick off the season. We'd have a carol sing in the sanctuary, a processional to the gym, and then the families would approach the manger (complete with a baby doll) to present their gifts. When all had presented their gifts, out came huge birthday cakes with tons of candles. Everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to Jesus, everyone blew out the candles, and everyone had cake and ice cream. It was a blast! This could easily be done on a single-family scale, though.

If a child is being especially greedy this year, keep track of the toys he or she selects for other children. If he or she is being sinfully stingy, only spend that amount on them that year. For example, if a girl begs for the Barbie Millionaire Mansion (costs $$$) and yet picks out a well-worn rag doll from Goodwill (cost $0.50), then only spend $0.50 on the girl for her own Christmas. This helps re-enforce the Golden Rule. Of course, this may only work once.... The next year, the child may choose the Barbie Mansion for the other child....

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7

We homeschool our children. With the school year beginning in January, stocking stuffers are things necessary for the new school year. Crayons, new pencil cases, etc. Our gifts are all education and imagination focused. One can never have too many good books. It's easy to get the shopping done early, as most of these things goes on sale in August. Even though the Deuteronomy passage deals primarily with the law of the Lord, it reminds us that whether you plan on homeschooling or sending your children to school, education is still primarily the responsibility of the parents. Even if you’re not homeschooling, brain-challenging books are great gifts. The mind-benders will last long after the batteries have died in the latest gizmo. Two completely terrific resources for such gifts are www.criticalthinking.com and www.mindware.com.

Keeping gift giving reasonable in the family

Jesus received only three gifts - gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Bible commentaries abound in opinions about the symbolism of the three gifts. Here is mine: Gold - something practical. Joseph and Mary were literally dirt poor, and this was practical provision by God for their journey into Egypt. Frankincense - used in spiritual offerings and sacrifices, denoting Jesus' holiness and His office as our High Priest. Myrrh - a perfume used in ointments, denoting Jesus' future death, since His body was anointed. Now, these translate into modern times as something needed and practical (like a textbook or socks/underwear), something to help spiritual growth (like a new Bible, devotional, or Veggie Tales video), and something to prepare for the future (like a savings bond or an educational toy to encourage creative thinking). Limiting the number of gifts a child receives helps the greed/thanksgiving factor. My husband and I use this for each other's gifts. For example, last year he received 6 new dress t-shirts (gold, something practical), the new Manheim Steamroller CD (frankincense, something spiritual), and a universal remote for the TV, VCR, and satellite (myrrh, something for the "future" (technology)). I had fun trying to find three gifts that fit the descriptions.

Keeping gift giving reasonable in the extended family

Sometimes the best-laid plans of your family can be circumvented or even sabotaged by well-meaning relatives. Maintain a wish list for your kids. Each child keeps a list of desired toys, but there can only be a set number of things on the list, say 5. If they want to add something to their lists, they must remove something else. Many online retailers have wish lists, like Amazon, ToysRUs, and Christian Book Distributors. This makes it easy to update the list anytime. Then one can refer relatives to the wish lists, if relatives are online. Such lists also help inform relatives of a child’s growing interests.

Encourage well-meaning relatives to be reasonable. The previously mentioned wish list helps in that area. When Grandma and Grandpa ask, refer to the list and give them only 2 or 3 things from the list. If the grandparents want to spend more, express your gratitude for their generosity, point them to the list again, and ask them to help you develop good stewardship in your children. If the grandparents feel they simply *must* spend more money, suggest a savings bond for college. I recently heard on a radio program that one girl’s grandparents bought her a $25 bond every year for Christmas, and when she got married in her mid 20’s she had enough to pay for a very nice wedding. What made this story especially sweet was that both grandparents had already gone to be with the Lord.

Planning ahead (far ahead) saves lots of money

In large, extended families draw names and set dollar amounts. On my side, we've got 18 people to buy for. That got to be astronomically expensive, both in money and time. Finally, we decided to draw names, one per person, with a dollar limit of $25. That has taken the stress out a lot! And we have fun trying to maximize that $25 throughout the year. My best so far has been about $150 of toys for my nephew that I actually only spent about $18 on. We draw new names right after Christmas (to take advantage of those after-Christmas sales!). Because I knew I had his name, I could look for rock-bottom bargains all year long.

Think “non-clutter” and “multi-use”

Think of non-clutter kinds of gifts like park passes, season tickets, restaurant gift certificates, or fancy food baskets. One year, our finances were particularly tight because we had finally been able to realize our dream of my staying home with our oldest daughter. That year, we made gift baskets for everyone, filled with homemade fruit preserves, flavored coffees, and seasoned salts. Our total investment for each basket set was under $5 each. To make each basket really special, we wrote out our prayers for each person to include with the basket. Every time Great Grandma opened the flavored coffee jar, she remembered that we love her and are praying for her. My niece and nephew still have their drag blankets that I made for them several years ago for less than $3 total. They now use them as individual picnic blankets when they are allowed to eat in the TV room and as boundaries for their Lego creations – just pick up the corners and dump them all back into the bin when finished.

May your Christmas be Christ centered!