Mommy Musings
Monthly Column by Anni Welborne

I’ve really struggled this winter with a lot of issues in my life. In some ways, it’s been a really tough winter, and I’m glad spring is finally here. I can’t tell you how much it lifted my spirits for my daughter to bring me a small handful of the first crocuses (croci?) to bloom.

I think the mundane routines of parenting have gotten to me more than ever before this winter. Our younger daughter is finally consistently using the potty, but it’s been a long winter. She’s also had two bouts with pneumonia, plus the flu, a terrible eye infection, and now bronchitis. It’s been a long winter. Our older daughter is finally memorizing her addition math facts, but it’s been a long winter. This daughter has been healthier than our younger, but she seems extraordinarily chore challenged. My cluttered house is slowly getting decluttered, but it’s been a long winter. I’m now usually only one laundry load behind, rather than several, but it’s been a long winter.

I’ve noticed that here in Indiana, it starts acting like winter about a month before winter actually begins. However, it doesn’t start acting like spring a month before spring begins. In fact, here we are, a couple of weeks into spring (as of this writing) and it’s flurrying outside! It’s been a long winter. But I also noticed that the buds are beginning to swell on the trees. And a couple of weeks ago, my family and I went to a maple sugar festival, and we watched the sap literally drip into the buckets. So even though we were wearing coats and mittens, the trees were preparing for spring. And my, oh my, did that syrup taste good!

Kids are a lot like trees. They grow when I’m not looking. And even if I watch closely, I will not be able to discern the growth, as it happens so subtly and quietly. There is no “Potty Switch” that I can flip that will enable my daughter to suddenly be 100% consistently clean and dry. There is no “Breathing Switch” for her lungs. There is no “Addition Facts Switch” in my older daughter’s brain that I can flip that will enable her math abilities to match her giftedly advanced verbal abilities. (Nor do I think I want to-–I wouldn’t be able to keep up!) There certainly is no “Clean House Switch,” no matter how I might wish for one. And the maple sap didn’t suddenly start pouring out into the buckets. It dripped. And dripped. And dripped. And slowly, the bucket was filled with sap.

I get so impatient. My eyes roll up, my voice gets tight, and I find myself fighting off an urge to scream. I want to see results–-now. I want to flip that switch and be finished with the lesson. I want the potty training to be over with. I want my daughter to breathe easily without thrice daily nebulizer treatments. I want my other daughter to do her chores without complaining and to memorize her math facts readily. I want my house to magically be clean. (Maybe if only the last one happened, I could handle the rest better… <smile>)

But that’s just not the way life works. I must patiently guide my daughter to the potty every couple of hours, every day, over the course of several months, developing a good habit in her that will enable her to remain clean and dry for several years to come. Breathing is eased one nebulizer treatment at a time, three times a day, day after day. Math facts come by consistently reviewing and then slowly building upon them. Good chore habits are built one chore at a time, slowly adding to responsibilities. And a clean house happens one counter, one load of laundry, one hot spot at a time. (Alas, if only two others didn’t develop while I was dealing with the one...)

I’m not good at waiting. I’m just not. But maybe that’s why God gives us winters, to make us slow down and rest. The world rests and prepares during the winters. If it’s good for the world, it’s probably good for me too. I don’t see any trees straining to pop out leaves. I don’t see the grass ripping itself out of the ground to check on roots. I see them patiently waiting on their Creator to bring out timely changes.

Yes, it’s been a long winter. But the grass is slowly beginning to turn green. The buds are swelling on the trees. The daffodils are pushing through the mulch. My daughter has been clean and dry for 6 days in a row now. My older daughter actually unloaded the dishwasher this morning with only one reminder. She’s also now able to knock off a math facts sheet in 12 minutes, as opposed to 30 earlier this winter. No comment on the house situation, though. <smile> It’s been a long winter, but we’re growing….

About the Author: Anni is the wife of Charles Welborne and the homeschooling mother of five children - two daughters (ages 7 and 5) here on earth, and three who graduated early and now dwell with their Heavenly Father. She assists her husband in the tape/CD duplication ministry at their church, where she is also in charge of the Deaf ministry and serves as a sign language interpreter. Anni is also a part-time Developmental Therapist for at-risk and developmentally delayed infants and preschoolers. In her "spare" time, she enjoys sewing, quilting, scrapbooking, and making pysanky (Ukranian decorated eggs). The Welbornes live in Indiana.

Copyright © 2008 by Anni Welborne.