Mommy Musings
Monthly Column by Anni Welborne

Both of my girls have long hair and are very girly in that they love pony-tail holders and barrettes and the like. I love brushing their hair every morning, feeling the silky smoothness. I always loved having my hair brushed and smoothed; it was so relaxing. And it’s relaxing to me to brush their hair and make them “beautiful like a princess.”

As part of our morning routine, all grooming must be done before school begins. So brushing my Kindergarten daughter’s hair was fresh in her mind as she began her morning devotions.

This morning, she read:

"God began doing a good work in you. And he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again" (Philippians 1:6,  International Children’s Bible, New Century Version).

Her assignment is to read the verse, read the devotional thoughts, and trace the verse. Since she’s only in Kindergarten, her handwriting is still shaky, so I found a font package that allows me to print dotted letters. I type out the verse, and she traces it. Then we discuss the verse together. I’ve told her that every verse in the Bible reveals the character and work of God. So for every verse she reads, she must complete the sentence “God wants me to….” I’ve printed out the first part in dotted letters for her to trace, but then I have given her some blank lines to write the rest by herself. (Incidentally, this has been a great way to teach writing mechanics such as capitalization, punctuation, word spacing, and so on.) She makes a first attempt at writing it, which I praise highly, because it truly is quite an effort for her, at this young age, to generate her own written sentences. Then we discuss how her letters are shaped, any spelling mistakes, and mechanics, while I correct her page with a highlighter. She then re-writes the sentence with the corrections.

This morning’s verse stumped her somewhat, because it was clear that God was doing the actions. She couldn’t imagine what God wanted her to do, in regards to this verse. Teaching by asking questions is a great method because it forces the learner to think actively.

Me: So, what does God want you to do?

Daughter-so-dear: Be more like Him… (always a safe answer….)

Me: How do we know what He looks like? How do we know we want to be more like Him?

She was stumped. I find it often helpful to remove the situation from the Bible and give more concrete examples. Everything in this world points, one way or another, to God. So sometimes backing up a bit and connecting a concept to something the child already knows is helpful.

"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse" (Romans 1:18-20 NIV)

My sister lives several states away, and my daughters have only met her once, although we frequently email and send pictures. They love hearing about their Aunt Sissy. I tell them stories about when I was growing up, how much I admire my older sister, and how much I miss her sometimes. I asked my daughter, “If I wanted to do your hair like Aunt Sissy’s hair, how would we do that?” My daughter decided that we’d look at pictures, call her, go visit her, have her show us how she does her hair. Exactly right!

And if we want to know what God looks like, where should we go? To the Bible, of course. We should read the Bible to find out what God is like. We don’t have any photographs of God, but we do have evidence of His work all around us to show us what He is like. We have His very Word to tell us what He is like.

At this point, I told her, we need to make a decision. One, we have looked at what God is like, we see His character qualities. Two, we need to decide if that is what we want to be like. That is a very important decision, I told her; probably the most important decision she’d ever make. She readily agreed that she wanted to be like God, to have some of the same qualities that God does. (I’m so thankful!)

I told her there is a third step in this process. She was intrigued. I reminded her about this morning, when her braids were still messy. What did we do? She brought me the hairbrush, sat down, and let me work on her hair.

I asked her, “What if you brought two hairbrushes, and you brushed while I brushed?” She knew right away, because we’d been there, done that: tangled brushes, tangled hair, not much progress, hair still messy, and both of us frustrated.

“Deary, what has to happen for your hair to look nice?” She knew – she has to sit still, hands in her lap, and let me work.

I told her it was the same thing with God. We have to read the Bible, find out what God looks like, make the decision that that is what we want to look like, and then let God work.

Carrying the hair analogy further, I asked her more questions. What about when there are tangles? Does she yank the brush from my hand? (She did when she was a baby.) Jump up and run away? (Again, during training, that happened, but not anymore.) I told her that sometimes I let her get up for something (another barrette), and sometimes I force her to sit down and sit still. If her hair is particularly tangly, do I start at the top and pull all the way down? No, that would hurt too much and tear her hair too much. I start at the bottom, and slowly work my way up to the top. Sometimes a tangle hurts. That’s just the nature of hair and a tender scalp. But I strive to be gentle and yet still get the job done.

Sometimes just a few strokes set things to right. Sometimes it takes several minutes of hard work to get the tangles out. But I emphasized - I don’t stop until the job is done and she is presentable.

I told her it was the same way with God. God is making us presentable to Jesus.

"God began doing a good work in you. And he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again" (Philippians 1:6).

I asked her if she wanted her hair to be messy when King Jesus returns. Of course not! She said she wanted to look like a beautiful princess for King Jesus. I reminded her that the outside is important, but that her heart and mind are even more important. I told her that I could help her with her hair, but that God was responsible for removing the tangles from her heart.

And what am I? Just a tool in God’s hand – perhaps a hairbrush, perhaps a towel, perhaps an oven, all designed to help my daughter’s heart become more like Jesus. And as Proverbs 27:17 teaches, my daughter likewise is a tool in God’s hand to re-shape my own heart. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." God has given us each other as tools in His hands. My daughters are helping me become more like Christ, and I (hopefully, prayerfully) am helping them become more like Christ.

Now where is that little hairbrush?

About the Author: Anni is the wife of Charles Welborne and the homeschooling mother of five children - two daughters (ages 7 and 5) here on earth, and three who graduated early and now dwell with their Heavenly Father. She assists her husband in the tape/CD duplication ministry at their church, where she is also in charge of the Deaf ministry and serves as a sign language interpreter. Anni is also a part-time Developmental Therapist for at-risk and developmentally delayed infants and preschoolers. In her "spare" time, she enjoys sewing, quilting, scrapbooking, and making pysanky (Ukranian decorated eggs). The Welbornes live in Indiana.

Copyright © 2007 by Anni Welborne.