Literary Sampler: Essays, Book Reviews, and More...
Monthly Column by Charity Gingerich

"I regard no man poor, who has a godly mother."
   -Abraham Lincoln

Since President Woodrow Wilson, in 1914, designated the Second Sunday of May to the celebration of mothers,¹ the American tradition of Mother’s Day has grown to become a dream of marketable success for commercialists. According to data gathered in National Retailer Federation Mother’s Day Consumer Action Survey(s),² consumers are expected to spend 15.73 billion dollars (an average of 139.14 dollars per person) this year, up from the estimated 13.8 billion of last year. Economically speaking, this may well be a good sign, for it may point to the stability of jobs and good incomes, which allows individuals to indulge their weakness to engage in enthusiastic consumerism. From the ideological standpoint of what it means to “honor” someone, however, this spending trend proves to be more problematic; I, for one, am skeptical of the idea that mothers are increasingly becoming more popular, and, in the minds of husbands and offspring, more worthy of expensive gifts. Instead (though I cannot point to any scientific survey to back my up this premonition), I am of the persuasion that we are exchanging less glamorous tokens of our love and esteem for our mothers – quality together time for one -- for gifts of flowers, chocolates, jewelry and clothing etcetera. These gifts, offered with what sincerity we can muster in the midst of our helter-skelter lifestyles, appear to me more the offerings of guilt to assuage our consciences than acts of real honor.

As I write all this, please note what I choose here to call “caution clauses:” words such as “appear,” “seem,” “more,” “tends,” “may,” etc., are meant to act as signs on a roadmap, as it were, for you, the reader. They are there to inform you that my goal is not to condemn the act of buying presents for your mom on this special day that has been set aside to honor her and the beautiful art of motherhood. Rather, my intent is to lead you to question the motivations, both personal and collective, that spur us to splurge on our mothers. Perhaps a good gauge for these intentions is to ask yourself, are these gifts replacing anything that I am (intentionally or unintentionally) withholding from my mother? Gifts as a byproduct of love and affection are fine, but gifts that attempt, in and of themselves, to express our appreciation, respect and honor for our mothers are empty formalities of the real thing.

So, how do we honor our mothers? To answer this question I turn to the source of inspiration for this essay, which is, not surprisingly, my own mother. Over the years I have made some rather desperate attempts to creatively express my honor for Mom, having learned quite young that she has a complete disregard (which borderlines disdain) for material possessions. I have come to realize that the ultimate way of honoring her lies in the day-to-day choices I make that do or do not reflect a desire to live for God. It is Jesus I am emulating through my mother when I put God first, people second, and myself last.

Having referred to this “ultimate” way of honoring our mothers, I would like to point out some practical, sometimes obscured, and even fun ways that I have learned to honor Mom. (The list will of necessity be short, but perhaps it will give you ideas for your own list). 1) Deferring to her judgment: as a recent college graduate I find myself stuffed with more theories than Mom knows exist. When it comes to both nitty-gritty matters of life and “nonessentials,” however, I have learned that it is far better to defer to her judgment in light of her accumulated wisdom. It may be as simple as a difference of opinion or preference on a recipe, article of clothing, or when to plant bulbs. What a waste of time it is to argue over such trifles! Worse yet (and I have seen this and am not guiltless myself) is when mom is reduced to a proverbial two-year-old with a particularly remonstrating tone because we/I know a better way! 2) Let your talents be her gifts: whether you are a cook, seamstress, artist, etc., taking the time to let your talents shape your gifts is a lovely way of honoring your mom. Remembering how much Mom always enjoyed my smeary rainbows-and-bestickered cards as a child, I took the time to hand-make a card for her birthday in April. The card was a bit kitschy, I confess, but she loved it. Also, knowing that Mom enjoys my sometimes cats-and-kitchens humor poems, I chose to compose one just for her instead of pulling some stuffy, dandified rhyming poem off of the Internet. (A copy of it is included below, for I have the feeling that its contents applies to many more mothers than my own.)

Notice that my short list relies on two of the most basic – yet vital – principles of how we can and should honor mom: our respect and our time. If we cut through all the frou-frou that has become Mother’s Day, I believe we will find that these remain two of the happiest, blessing-filled ways God has given us to honor our mothers.

Because you never forced me to eat
cold split pea soup and slippery lima
beans, I bestow upon you an honorary
degree in psychology – for you wisely
avoided damaging my delicate 6-year-old
psyche, thus freeing me to pursue peas,
broccoli, lettuce and health with rabbit-
like abandon. Because you never twittered
frantically or checked my temperature
when I did things like write letters to trees
or memorize the Preamble to the Declaration
of Independence for no knowable reason,
I acknowledge your expertise in psychiatry,
for you knew that, according to the OED,
insanity is “a disease of the brain affecting
the mind,” and I was merely ‘curious,’ not
‘insane.’ Last but not least (a full list of your
titles can be found in Appendix A on page
68), because you will read this poem with
great depth and insight, and because your
skills in literary analysis, explication and
editing are exemplary, I proudly bestow
upon you a Master’s in English Literature,
with concentrations in Poetry and Theory!

But I almost forgot: you already hold the most
important degree of your career, that of
being the best, most godly mother a daughter
could ever have, and for that I thank God.

¹www.mothersdaycentral.com (this website offers an interesting, fairly complete national and international history of the evolution of Mother’s Day).

²www.nrf.com

Copyright © 2007 by Charity Gingerich. 

About the Author: Charity graduated from Kent State University with a BA in English, as well as minors in writing and history in 2006. This fall (2008) she will be entering the MFA in Creative Writing program at West Virginia University where she will be specializing in poetry. Charity always welcomes any questions/suggestions about this column. Click Here to send her an email.