From the Heart
Monthly Column by Aimee Clark

Every day is the same. I get up, take care of my puppy, take care of myself, pack a few boxes, clean...and wait until evening comes. I stare at the clock, watching the hours tick away. I try to keep myself busy, but who am I fooling? I struggle with myself, “Stop watching the time! Don’t you know a watched pot never boils?” That’s how I feel. If I stare at the clock, it will never change. The minutes will drag even more slowly, until I want to run from the house screaming. So I watch TV, read a book, anything to keep from staring at that stupid clock that never changes.

And then, finally, it is time. It's getting cooler outside, the sun is starting to set. The evening has officially arrived. And with it, the sound that I’ve come to adore -- the phone ringing. I’m smiling before the first ring is even over. Relief fills my heart, because I know that he’s calling. It’s been a long day of waiting and wondering, but all that’s over now. I know that he’s okay, that we are okay, because there he is on the other end of the line.

Four months and a thousand miles ago, he was always here. Yes, here, right here in this very house, this very chair, watching TV, checking his email. He was not just my husband, he was my stronghold. He held me when I cried, and tucked me into bed every night before leaving for his night job. He carried some of the weight, the responsibility which comes with owning your own home, paying the bills, and having a dog. And now, all that’s left is his voice on the other end of the phone line. All the weight is back on my shoulders, and then some. I’m not just his wife anymore, I’m an Army wife. And suddenly the war on terror is being fought not just overseas, but also within the secret chambers of my heart.

Before Justin and I were married, we were told that marriage is hard work. It’s something that you have to work at every single day of the year. And I always believed it too. I thought that we were learning that lesson in just the year and a half we had been married. But now I know that was just the beginning. Justin will come home exactly one month before our second anniversary. And the four months in between that have been harder than I could ever have dreamed. For almost three months, we spoke maybe once every 10 days for less than 10 minutes. His letters were few and far between –- not even once a week. Our relationship went from 60 to 0, just like that.

But we held on. I had my cell phone permanently attached to my hand, just in case he would call. Every single day, I wrote him a letter. He actually bought a binder to keep them all in, because there were so many. In fact, one of the sweetest gifts he ever gave me was that binder –- not because he kept all the letters, but because of the words he said to me the day he gave it to me. He got the weekend off after he graduated from Basic Training, and we were able to spend a few days together. The day we had to leave each other again, he handed me the binder filled with my letters. He wanted me to take it home so that it would be safe. He said that binder meant more to him than anything else I could’ve done for him while he was gone. Each letter, to him, represented my love for him. He said the only reason he made it through Basic was because I was standing right behind him the entire time, supporting him from afar with my words of encouragement.

Thankfully, he is less than three weeks away from completing all his training. He is able to call me every night, usually for an hour or so. Sometimes he even sends me a text message early in the morning, just to say he loves me. Through it all, I can honestly say that I’m thankful for this experience. It has been terribly hard, and I don’t anticipate it getting much easier, but I’ve learned some valuable truths. I love my husband, through better or worse, whether I can hear his voice every day or not, see him face to face or just in an old picture. And now that we can talk every day, I am falling in love with him all over again. We can talk about anything, and we usually do! We started out as best friends, and now we are right back where we started. I think that this entire experience has done wonders for our marriage. Before this, we were both only putting 50% into our relationship and getting tired of the results. Now we are putting 100% into it, and reaping the rewards!

Please remember, nothing is too great for God. Before the Army, I used to pray that God would show me that Justin and I were really meant to be together. I realize now that this whole thing is my answer. It’s not how I thought He would answer, but it’s my answer nonetheless. And for that I am thankful. So keep your eyes open. You never know how God will choose to reveal Himself to you.

About the Author: Aimee is a proud Army wife. She and her husband, Justin, have a spoiled little Beagle named Athena. Aimee loves to sing, write, and cook. She is currently writing (and living!) in the house of her husband’s grandparents, while Justin finishes his Basic Training.