From the Heart
Monthly Column by Aimee Clark

I’ve had a long road to get to where I am now. There have been many trials, many ups and many downs. I always thought that I would be happy when...fill in the blank. When I fell in love, when I finally moved out of my parents' house, when I got married. The list goes on. And though none of those things brought me true happiness, I never had the courage to step out and find it for myself. Maybe I thought that it would someday find me. But I think I had myself convinced that I should be happy, and it was my own fault if I wasn’t.

And then it happened. My husband of only a year and a half said to me, “Maybe I should join the Army.” There were many factors that went into making that decision, but in the end there was only one that really mattered. We prayed day and night, and we both felt God had answered us. And so, after a few short weeks of discussion, and without even mentioning it to our families, Justin joined the Army. We didn’t tell anyone until the papers were already signed. Oh, we wanted to, but we didn’t think that they would be able to offer us any support unless they knew that they had no other choice. So we were left with just each other and God. Two weeks later, it was just me and God. Justin went off to South Carolina for his Basic Training.

I’ll be honest with you; I cried. I cried at least once a day the two weeks before he left, and I cried more than a few times those first few days he was gone. But then something changed. In my heart, I knew that we were following the Lord’s will. And now that Justin was gone, I had no one else to talk to except Him. The beauty of it is, that’s exactly what I did. I began to turn my life around in a radical way. I abstained from my daily intake of caffeine, swearing it off all together for one full month. I promised the Lord that I would use the time usually spent drinking Mountain Dew and eating junk food to seek His face. I also turned off the talk shows and reality TV that so recently had captured my attention. Instead, I spent time watching sermons on TV and programs with amazing Christian women who were speaking directly to my heart. I began to read my Bible every morning and evening. I prayed almost continuously; first for Justin’s safety and well-being, but soon for myself too. Every day I grow closer to the Lord.

Of course, I do slip every now and then. But then again, don’t we all? What amazes me is the way this has all happened. I am not too proud to admit that if my husband were still here with me, I would not be as close to God as I now feel. Justin is in the Army. That is a big deal. But when he left, it gave me the freedom to open up to God. He had been my support, the one I turned to when things were rough. Without him, I only had one choice. Finally, I laid myself down before the Lord and allowed Him to have control over my life. And I’m happy to say that Justin has grown throughout all this as well. He is attending church services every Sunday and helping bring his fellow soldiers to Christ.

Remember how your mother used to say “don’t judge a book by its cover”? Well, the same applies with God. No matter what the situation looks like, it may turn out to be something different. I thought that being left alone for two months would drain the life right out of me. Instead, I’ve finally begun to live.

About the Author: Aimee is a proud Army wife. She and her husband, Justin, have a spoiled little Beagle named Athena. Aimee loves to sing, write, and cook. She is currently writing (and living!) in the house of her husband’s grandparents, while Justin finishes his Basic Training.