Be the Change
Monthly Column by Dr. Krista Driver

New Year’s Eve...and I took a vow of silence for a week. That’s how I brought in 2008; quietly. I thought I might have an out of body experience or a holy moment with God, but that didn’t happen. I thought if I was quiet I could hear His voice. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to God, yet I’m rarely still enough to hear Him. A vow of silence? That seemed a bit weird, but okay.

A side note: I was perfectly content during my week of silence. Not talking was fine with me and I was okay with the empty space. It was other people that had a problem with it. Have you ever noticed how uncomfortable people get with silence? Some call it a “pregnant pause.” You know, when the conversation all of a sudden stops? Inevitably someone attempts to fill up the “pause” because people are simply uncomfortable with silence. I loved it. When I am quiet, I can hear a whole lot better. All the other senses are heightened and suddenly I notice things I may not have noticed had I been engaged in speaking. And on top of what I was able to see, smell, hear, taste and touch (notice talking is not considered one of the five senses?), I was able to communicate affectively, if not better than when I made any attempt at verbalizing my thoughts and feelings.

For the first 25 years of my life, I knew about God. However, when he would try to speak to me, I’d say, “What is that annoying buzzing
sound?" It was as though a fly had intruded upon my personal space. I didn’t recognize the voice of God yet. Anorexia almost claimed my life, but I cried out to God just before what seemed like a certain death, “God, if you really are up there, can you help me out?!”

That’s when God said, “Krista, I want you to move that rock from here to there.”

Naturally my answer was complex. “Are you sure? That seems silly and an awful lot of work…Isn’t there an easier way? Like, why don’t you just make water flow from the rock? I mean, you ARE God aren’t you? And…what time frame did you have in mind? What if I move it over there and you change your mind? Well…alright. If you insist I’ll move the rock.”

I moved the rock.

About four years later I took another devastating blow from “life.” With that crisis, I cried out to God again.

“God, can you just show me that you’re still there?”

That’s when God said, “Krista, I want you to move that rock from here to there.”

My answer was, “Are you sure? That seems silly. Can’t you just hit the rock and make water flow from it to show me that you’re still there? And the last time we did this.... Well, okay…if you insist.”

I moved the rock.

Then several more years went by, and there I sat with the makings of my country western song (lost my business, kicked to the curb, my dog died, my refrigerator died and I lost my job) and I cried out to God once more. “Ummm God…WHO are you anyway?”

That’s when God said, “Krista, I want you to move that rock from here to there.”

I didn’t even open my mouth. I just moved the rock. And that is when I heard God say, “Now sit upon that rock. I will speak to you and show you many things. Because you have moved the rock and now sit upon it quietly, you can hear me.”

Not that you have to take a vow of silence to hear God, but it certainly helps to be quiet and listen for His response to our prayers. How often do we send up a prayer to God, then run around chattering about things and drowned out the voice of God? I heard God during my week of silence -- clearly. I learned to discern what was His voice and what was my voice (and the voice of everyone else around me). It was a profound experience even if I didn’t have an out of body experience or a “holy moment." Do you take the time to sit quietly before God and listen to His gentle voice and leading? Try it. You’ll be amazed at what you will hear when you aren’t speaking.

About the Author: Dr. Krista Driver holds professional certifications in diagnosing and treating eating disorders and substance abuse. She is licensed in the State of California as a Marriage, Family, and Child (LMFT) therapist. Currently working in private practice, Dr. Driver is also the Founder and Executive Director of Serenity Center For Change (a public benefit nonprofit in California). From transitional living to equine therapy, Serenity Center for Change offers the tools to assist others in initiating effective change in their lives. Dr. Driver has published one book (But I Want A Casserole) and is currently awaiting the publication of her second book (But I Want the Whole Loaf). Visit her website at www.DrKristaDriver.com.