Be the Change
Monthly Column by Dr. Krista Driver

Imagine if you will, 1,200 pounds of flesh and muscle charging toward you. I believe it’s safe to assume that your heart would have been pounding too. Mine was for sure.

I do not use restraints with my horses. Rather my methods reflect trust, love and a whole lot of patience. Grace came to me full of fear and uncertainties. Her owner had moved and left her in the care of neighbors. However, when the owner visited the mare, she was horrified by her condition and loved the horse enough to let her go.

Grace and I began our "work" September 14, 2007. Initially, our days were simple…cleaning her stall, grooming her and asking her to trust me in her "space." Eventually, I began "working" her in a round pen (lunging). When I felt confident that I had her attention and trust, I walked her to the arena nearby. A new environment with new stimuli, and I was in for a whole new experience with my horse.

We entered the arena and I took her off the lead rope, allowing her to move freely. Now, we had spent the patient weeks building a bond and I knew she considered me "a member of her herd." However, with the combination of the new environment, new sounds, and new smells, she panicked and began running and kicking. I don’t know about YOU, but the last thing I wanted to do was be in a closed space with a kicking, bucking, scared horse! If I left the arena, she was even more agitated (because she was "herd bound" to ME). Yet, the only way to calm her down was to walk out to the middle of the arena and patiently wait for her to realize I was still there, and the safest place for her to be was right next to me. Heart pounding, one eye closed and lips moving in a desperate prayer, I walked out to the middle of the arena.

I thought about times that I was scared, angry, lonely, and sad. I might not have been kicking, but I certainly felt the bottom line—fear. Where did I go? To the "center" of the bath tub (my "hiding" place) and I would sing (okay, I know that sounds strange, but it calmed me down). God met me in that place and no matter what challenge I was facing, He comforted me and gave me the courage to face my fears.

So, in a desperate attempt to calm this anxious horse, I began to sing…

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

Grace stopped running and stood very still at the other end of the arena. She was clearly still afraid and unsure about all that was going on. I could see it in her eyes. Fight or Flight! With all four legs firmly planted, she was ready to run at any moment.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Tentatively, she took one step toward me…then another…and another. I continued…

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

I believe that’s when I noticed her running toward ME. Perhaps she didn’t like my singing or she suddenly realized the safest place to be was right next to ME...but she came to a halt right in front of me. I’m NOT exaggerating. We were nose to nose. I could feel her hot breath on my face. Not wanting to make any sudden movements, I simply said, “Good girl, Grace” and I turned to walk away. I took about four steps and that horse, head low, body relaxed, began to follow me. I continued singing as we walked around that arena…

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

Sometimes we are just like that, aren’t we? Running around, frantically trying to find something to comfort us. Perhaps running from problems in our lives. Possibly caught in the trap of "fight or flight" and we seem so out of control. Yet, there in the center stands God. Perhaps He’s singing to us. Maybe He’s just silently waiting for us to realize that the safest place to be is standing right next to Him.

Are you "herd bound" to God? Do you get anxious when you don’t see Him in your arena? He’s there...trust me. He never moved. If you don’t see Him in the center of your arena, it could be because you are running around, kicking, bucking or just distracted. Maybe life has overwhelmed you, circumstances are less than desirable, or you are operating from a fear base. Whatever the case is…stop. Look toward the center and you’ll see Him. You’ll hear...

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound....

About the Author: Dr. Krista Driver holds professional certifications in diagnosing and treating eating disorders and substance abuse. She is licensed in the State of California as a Marriage, Family, and Child (LMFT) therapist. Currently working in private practice, Dr. Driver is also the Founder and Executive Director of Serenity Center For Change (a public benefit nonprofit in California). From transitional living to equine therapy, Serenity Center for Change offers the tools to assist others in initiating effective change in their lives. Dr. Driver has published one book (But I Want A Casserole) and is currently awaiting the publication of her second book (But I Want the Whole Loaf). Visit her website at www.DrKristaDriver.com.