Tammi's Treasures
Monthly Column by Tammi Rhoney

This time of year, Christian women need to especially beware of exchanging our normal everyday attire for the red cape and diamond tiara of Wonder Woman. Although we are prone to overdoing at other times during the year, nothing compares to the Christmas rush. I read of one woman whose tendency after Thanksgiving is "to take a deep breath and fly into the Christmas season".¹ We should beware of doing the same. Instead of rushing into the frenzied planning of the holidays, let’s strive to practice the inner beauty of self-control, defined by Webster’s Dictionary as "the act, power or habit of keeping one’s energies under control of the will." This Fruit of the Spirit is often forgotten during seasons of busyness.

Why, as women, do we think we need to do it all? For many of us, pride is at the root of our actions. We want others to think well of us and it would never do to appear lazy, so we try to cram as much into our calendars as we possibly can. Sometimes I’m thankful that God has given me built-in energy limitations resulting from living with a chronic illness known as Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome or "CFIDS" for fifteen years. I also have built-in warning signs that let me know when I have done enough physically. These include headaches, excessive fatigue, dizziness and/or achiness. When I get one or more of these symptoms, I know to hit the couch. My activity time is over and rest becomes my main priority. Daily, I have to practice the discipline of pacing, resting and setting limits. I must space out my weekly activities, limiting them to no more than three or four a week so I don’t exceed my "energy envelope". Like me, many of you have probably learned that when we try to do it all, in the end we are not having a ball, as the saying goes. We are left feeling empty, frustrated, grumpy and totally exhausted. One writer who was "exhausted from being pulled in a million directions, juggling the needs of everyone and barely treading water with the heavy demands heaped upon her shoulders," told her family to "just call me Rosie the Robot."² Have you ever felt like Rosie the Robot? I have.

It is important here to distinguish between hyperactivity and diligence. The virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31 is diligent and industrious. Most of the descriptive verbs in the Proverbs 31 passage, which total approximately twenty, have to do with physical activity.³ However, I for one could never come close to her activity level. To me, the virtuous woman sounds like Wonder Woman and I wonder when, if ever, she sleeps. Each of us has daily God-given tasks to perform, and we should do them to God’s glory (1 Corinthians 10:31). However, we are not called to take on every task or project that comes our way. We should pray for God’s wisdom, guidance and direction to help us find a balance between doing too much and too little.

I believe that busyness (and not just during the holidays) is one of Satan's key strategies to keep us from spending time with Christ. It wasn't Martha that Jesus commended, but Mary, for sitting at His feet (Luke 10:38-42). I’m sure all of us can identify with the statement, "Martha was distracted with much serving," and she thought Jesus didn’t care that she was doing all the work alone. But instead of rebuking Mary for letting Martha do all the work, Jesus commended her for choosing the better part, spending time with Him. Martha’s preparations might have been unnecessarily elaborate, as are many of our holiday preparations. Mary, however, knew that listening to Christ was "an extraordinary opportunity to be given preference over other less important concerns."⁴ Jesus makes it very clear in this passage that nothing is as important in life as daily communion with Him. Our culture says, "Busy is better!" Jesus says, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).

I struggle with keeping my life simple, peaceful and unhurried, especially during the holidays, but I have learned a few tips from past years of joyless Christmases due to stress and/or over scheduling. My first priority is spending time daily in worship, prayer and praise to Christ, preferably in the morning. In October, I make a list of what needs done (shopping, addressing Christmas cards, planning menus, etc.) and do a little at a time, spacing it out. I shop throughout the year and put Christmas gifts back for the next year. I try to get most of my Christmas shopping finished by Thanksgiving and do most of it online, which saves me lots of energy. I’ve learned that it’s best to keep things simple and concentrate on one task, do it well and complete it before beginning another task. I also pray for peace and try not to get stressed out if something doesn’t get done, as it’s probably not that important anyway. Lastly, I keep the months of November and December as free as possible and schedule in some rest days so I can save my energy for the holidays with our families.

How will you spend the holidays this year? Will it be rushing around like Rosie the Robot or setting aside quality time to spend with the Prince of Peace? It’s never easy, but by practicing self-control, we can have a more Christ-filled holiday season! It is possible. It’s all about prioritizing, making good choices, and eliminating activities that aren’t as important or don’t have much spiritual value. Since Christ is the only One who can fill the empty places in our hearts and give true meaning and purpose to our lives, wouldn’t it be better to focus on Him during the holidays? Let’s choose the better part, like Mary did, and have a meaningful, Christ-centered holiday season.

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¹Ann Marie Stewart, "Preparing My Heart for Advent", Proverbs 31 Magazine, p. 6.
²Cara Sexton, "Her Children Arise and Call Her Rosie", Proverbs 31 Magazine, p. 9.
³Emalyn Spencer, A Woman That Feareth The Lord (Lawrenceville, GA:Christian Ed&Pub. 1976), p. 57.
⁴New Geneva Study Bible (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1995), p. 1625.

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About the Author: Tammi has suffered with the debilitating illness known as Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (or “CFIDS”) for almost fifteen years. She is an on-line devotional writer for Rest Ministries. When able, she enjoys swimming, sewing, writing and traveling. Tammi’s passion is encouraging others with chronic illnesses to draw closer to Jesus Christ and find hope and strength in Him. Take a minute to visit her website at www.lordhelpmyhusband.com.