Answer Me This
Advice Column by Misty Dawn Bodeman

Dear Misty,

I am a 29 year old woman who has been married for six years. I thought I was in love with my husband when we got married, but now it seems like we have nothing in common. I feel I have married the wrong man! I know the Bible says God hates divorce, so what should I do? I am afraid I will end up like my parents -- sleeping in separate bedrooms for the rest of our lives.

Thank you for your time and thoughts,
~Amy

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Dear Amy,

Whether you married the wrong person or not six years ago, he is the right person for you now. If you begin thinking about him as ‘your one and only’, you will begin treating him as ‘your one and only’ and you will likely see a dramatic turn around.

A recent study showed almost 94% of the people polled responded that they felt they had married the wrong person -- on at least one or more occasions, but only 1% responded that they always feel this way.

So what does that mean for you? Well first, your feelings are normal and second, your husband may be feeling the same way. Ouch! Doesn't that just sting the ego a bit to know that your husband may be thinking the same thing?!

But where do we go from here? Sure, wishing you had married someone else or simply not married your spouse, is normal, but does that make it right? Well, in an imperfect world we will all do imperfect things. Two imperfect people living together trying to achieve a perfect relationship is a bit ambiguous! However, two imperfect people following God's commandments of loving and respecting one another can expect to gain a deeper intimacy. This is what is missing, a deep intimacy with your husband!

I suggest you talk to your husband about the lack of time you spend together. Try to find things both of you enjoy doing. If there is nothing, then try new activities together. Most everybody enjoys eating, so, if necessary, begin there. I urge you to avoid doing things that stifle conversation. If you are both movie buffs, go see a movie but grab a coffee (or ice cream) afterward to talk about the movie. Make no excuses -- you must begin spending quality time together! If money is short, have a date at home. I strongly urge you to begin weekly dates with your husband. They may be a little rough at first but gradually the two of you will begin forming a deeper relationship.

I also suggest that you join a couple's Bible study or pick up a couple's Bible study book at the book store. There are many out there and you will surely find one to fit your specific needs.

Lastly please remember "The family that prays together, stays together." You and your husband are a family (regardless if you have children or not). Even if everything else I have suggested seems too daunting at this time, always remember to take time each day to meet God, together.

Serving Him,
Misty

Scriptures to Consider:
1 Thessalonians 3:12
Ecclesiastes 4:12
Proverbs 3:3-4
1 Peter 3:1-2
John 13:34-35
Philippians 1:9-11
Hosea 2:19-20
1 John 4:12
1 Corinthians 11:11

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Do You Need Advice?
Email your questions to Misty.