Answer Me This
Advice Column by Misty Dawn Bodeman

Hi Misty,

My fiancé wants to do a prenuptial agreement before we marry. I am very hurt by this revelation and I don't consider this to be biblical. It demonstrates fear and a lack of trust and an easy way out of the marriage when difficulties arrive. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters -- ages 20 & 13. I have two sons -- ages 20 & 16. My fiancé feels he got the raw end of the deal (financially) in his divorce. What is your perspective on prenuptial agreements as Christians?

Thank you in advance for your advice.

~ Liz

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Dear Liz,

When a man and a woman marry, they become one. Yours, mine and ours no longer exist. A prenup, or prenuptial agreement, is a contract between two people who are about to be married. A contract contains terms for a marriage, but the Bible already clearly shows God’s view on marriage. A prenup states “terms and conditions” where the Bible state “actions and responsibilities.” Entering into a prenup gives each party a safety net in case things head south. As Christians we mustn’t allow divorce to even be an option.

You stated the reason for your fiance’s request was that he felt he was shorted in his past relationship. I urge you to pray that he is released from the bondage of his past and that both of you enter into this marriage without the residue from previous relationships.

Also you mention that you each have adult and teenage children. Is his concern for his children? If that is the case, you might consider looking into a last will and testament delegating funds to the children.

If your fiancé is still insistent on a prenup, I urge you to speak with the pastor who is doing your premarital counseling. Trusting in God and trusting in each other has to be part your foundation for marriage.

My prayers are with you,
Misty

Scriptures to Consider:
Ephesians 5:33
Malachi 2:14-15
Isaiah 43:18-19
2 Corinthians 5:17
Ecclesiastes 4:11-12
Proverbs 28:26

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About the Author: Misty is an energetic mother of an equally energetic two-year-old little boy. She enjoys listening to good music, talking with great friends, and drink outstanding coffee! Bible study and research are among her favorite pastimes along with conversation on faith. She is very active in her church and her local MOPS groups. She lives in Nebraska with her husband, their son and two dogs.