What is the Difference Between Punishment, Discipline and Homeschooling?

As a new columnist to Positively Feminine, I will be writing about discipline and homeschooling. It is important to be on common ground when different words are used so we really know what we are talking about. When I speak of discipline I don’t mean punishment. When I speak of discipline I will also touch on homeschooling. On many levels I see them as the same thing. Let me share why.

First let’s compare punishment and discipline. Merriam-Webster gives me this information on discipline:

Main Entry: ¹dis•ci•pline
Pronunciation: \’di-sə-plən\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French & Latin; Anglo-French, from Latin disciplina teaching, learning, from discipulus pupil
Date: 13th century

1: punishment
2 obsolete: instruction
3: a field of study
4: training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character
5 a: control gained by enforcing obedience or order b: orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior c: self-control
6: a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity

When I look at number one being punishment, I actually reject that as I see a clear difference between discipline and punishment. You can have one without the other. I can confirm this by looking at the etymology and seeing that discipline really has a teaching/learning basis.

Number two is closer. In our home, discipline and homeschooling are all the same. I hope this becomes clearer as I write of both.

Number three is generally an area of study, which is the area of parenting I study. I study the discipline of discipline.

Number four is the definition I will be using. It is training. The root word for discipline is the same root word for disciple. Yes, teaching and training. Can you now see that discipline and homeschooling are the same for me?

Number five is the discipline that is commonly used with exercise and creating a habit. It is necessary to disciple in a disciplined manner to achieve good results.

Number six I do use to an extent in our house. We have a set of standards of conduct that we expect of everyone.

Merriam-Webster defines punishment differently:

Main Entry: pun•ish•ment
Pronunciation: \ˈ#601;-nish-mənt\
Function: noun
Date: 15th century

1: the act of punishing
2 a: suffering, pain, or loss that serves as retribution b: a penalty inflicted on an offender through judicial procedure
3: severe, rough, or disastrous treatment

As you see they are very different. They are not synonyms. Some people may use punishment in their discipline, but there can be, and I will say should be, discipline without punishment. I would like to urge followers of Christ to consider, with the Spirit’s leading, discipline without punishment just like Jesus did. And when the noisy children were distracting while He was teaching, He wanted them brought to Him, not hurt, not sent away, because He wanted to bless them.

One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him. When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them. —Mark 10:13-16 (NLT)

Oh, I want to be more like Jesus!

Jesus is the perfect example of a great teacher. He is truly my example on how to parent, be a godly wife, how to teach and conduct myself. My day is spent preparing my children for what God has planned for them. Our first goal is that our children are Kingdom Citizens, completely sold out with hopes that for generations to come our family will have children that share the gospel message to the world, just as Jesus’ disciples did. Our second goal is that they have a great academic background and can navigate the secular world well. This will take disciplined discipling, without punishment, with great modeling by us, and most importantly the guidance of the Spirit.