The last of the blankets and cuddly things had been gathered up as the nurse in the maternity ward handed my youngest of two sons to me. It was time to go home. His big brother Ryan, now four and a half, looked into the face of this sweet gift and then up at me, beaming with joy. He and his dad headed for the car. In the next moment my heart was gripped by terror as I looked at my newborn, Ross, and realized he wasn’t breathing.
“Nurse … nurse!” I screamed at her. She turned on her heals, looked at the baby and took him from me. Looking over her shoulder, she gave me a hasty word of assurance: “It will all be okay.” Okay? My mind raced to a variety of conclusions—none of which brought any comfort. Tears rolled down my face as I gazed down at my now empty arms. How can this be okay? What’s wrong with my baby?
The next days were spent in Intensive Care watching our little one struggle through tests and treatments. I insisted on being allowed to feed and care for him. My husband held things together for our family. He and Ryan headed up the prayer team, which included a call to a pastor from our church in Green Bay. He was a good friend and arrived at the hospital in Appleton later that day.
Jesus tells us in His Sermon on the Mount, “Blessed are the poor in spirit” and “Blessed are you poor” in the Gospels of Matthew and Luke respectively. He goes on to say, “For theirs is the kingdom of heaven” and “For yours is the kingdom of God” (Matthew 5:3, Luke 6:20 NKJV). There are subtle variations in the accounting of Jesus’ words, yet a return to the original Greek sheds valuable light on the text. The same Greek word, ptochos, is used in both passages and it means, as we would suspect, poor. Ptochos includes other synonyms which are symptomatic of our human condition. When we are ptochos, we are reduced to beggary, destitute, lacking. We are in want. We consider our resources and realize we haven’t wisdom, wealth, or influence. We are helpless, powerless to accomplish an end. We are, as it is said, “At the end of our rope.”
When we reach the end of ourselves, we are as beggars—poor and wanting. What we have in our bank accounts, or the size of our homes, is of little consequence. We are ptochos, poor. In the same manner as one begging for bread, we cry out to God, “Please have mercy on me—a poor sinner. God—Jesus—help me.”
Yet even in our misery Jesus tells us that we are blessed. The Apostle Paul in a letter to the church in Corinth recounts his request of God to have, as he described, “a thorn in the flesh” removed. The Lord said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJV).
Twenty-five years ago, Ross was diagnosed with apnea. We brought him home with medication and a heart/breathing monitor. But by God’s grace and his first birthday, Ross had outgrown this condition—and enjoys good health to this day. His brother Ryan still beams with joy when they are together.
I believe I understand this passage of Scripture. However, knowing and doing are not one in the same. As I search my heart, I find that I am indeed poor, wretched, pitiable, blind, and need the Lord desperately every minute of each day. But in the midst of this struggle, I find peace and joy that God calls me blessed. Even as I am weak, my Lord is strong. God’s gentle strength, powerful forgiveness and lavish grace daily anoint my sin sick soul. Thanks be to God.
Copyright © by Waters of LifeTM Ministry for Women, Inc. 2009
This post was written by...
Mary C. Catterton – who has written 18 posts on Positively Feminine.
Mary Catterton is the founder of Waters of Life Ministry for Women, Inc., a Christian ministry aimed at helping women discover their calling and develop their unique God given gifts. A singer and songwriter, Mary is a touring professional offering her music, message and ministry to people of all ages. Her programs vary from concerts, clinics, Bible studies, retreats and seminars. Mary is certified in teaching both the Old and New Testaments through the Bethel Bible Program. Her music and devotional writing can be found at her ministry website: wolministry.com. Mary welcomes your emails: mary@wolministry.com. Mary’s column,Waters Of Life, is posted bimonthly on PositivelyFeminine.org.
